Guest Blog: Food Shaming – Strategies to Tackle This Complex Topic with Kids
10/14/2024
Guest Blog by Elizabeth Shaw, MS, RDN, CPT
There are a lot of things parents have to worry about these days. Food shaming shouldn’t be one of them, but unfortunately it is. Food shaming occurs when a person shares their beliefs about a food or way of eating without concern for how this will make those around them feel. While food shaming can take on many forms, some of which may or may not be intentional, when it boils down to it, it leaves the person being food shamed feeling insecure about the foods they’re eating.
Case in point, the organic versus conventional food shaming debate. Regardless of the data that shows both forms of produce are safe to eat, there’s still misinformation floating around and when it comes down to it, fear about the safety of our fresh produce choices. In fact, a Nutrition Today study showed misleading messaging which inaccurately describes certain fruits and vegetables as having “higher” pesticide residues results in low income shoppers reporting that they would be unlikely to purchase any fruits and vegetables – organically or non-organically grown.
This is not ok! Especially when most kids aren’t meeting the recommended intakes for fruits and vegetables. We need to empower kids, and their parents, to make the best choices for them and their family’s socioeconomic status, assuring them that any produce is better than no produce when it comes to a healthy lifestyle.
Whether we’re aware of it or not, food shaming happens routinely when we speak about how food is grown, manufactured, and packaged. While it may not be said in malice, a comment regarding how breakfast cereal would never be allowed in your house because it was “unhealthy” overheard by a tiny set of ears can transfer faster than a game of telephone. That child may then go to school and tell the other child eating said “unhealthy foods” that their food choices are “bad”.
Food, right then and there, becomes a moral choice. And, unfortunately, the kids who eat those “bad” foods then may internalize that they, themselves, are “bad” for the way they’re eating. What happens when that food they eat is the only source of nutrition they have that meal? What happens when that food is the “sense of normalcy” their parents could afford to buy them that month on a tight income. Food becomes a much more complex topic than just nutrition.
Food isn’t black and white, good or bad. While some may have the luxury of choosing what they put in their bodies, others may not have that same flexible income to make those same choices. Taking morality out of food is one of the first ways we can view all foods regardless of their cultural origin as nourishment for the body. Simply put, it’s all fuel to keep our engines going.
In a sea of misinformation floating around online, thankfully, consumers still have trust in registered dietitians. Let’s learn from four leading pediatric nutritionists as they share their top piece of advice to help navigate food shaming discussions.
Pediatric Dietitians Advice For Managing Food Shaming
Kacie Barnes, MS, RDN, @mamaknowsnutrition
“Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” I repeat that so often in my own home whenever I hear one of my kids say something like, “ew that looks gross!” about something I cooked. In a food shaming instance, I’d want it to empower the child to have something to say when other kids make hurtful comments about their food. We obviously can’t prevent kids from saying hurtful things, but we can help our own kids understand that there is nothing wrong with them enjoying different foods that their friends are likely just unfamiliar with.”
Wendy Jo Peterson, MS RDN, @justwendyjo
“The greatest impact we can make is having open, age-appropriate conversations with our children. We use the statement, “don’t yuck my yum,” frequently too. We also talk about our connection to food and how we feel when we eat certain foods. Some foods provide us with a sense of home or nostalgia, some are nourishing (like when we are sick), and our foods may be different from our neighbors or friends. Demonizing foods, even those we believe to be unhealthy, often does not render the outcome we want in our children. It creates fear and anxiety around food and can turn into food shaming in the classroom. Our greatest impact is modeling and often leading silently, modeling a positive connection to food without fear and anxious comments.”
Malina Malkani, MS, RDN, CDN, owner of Malina Malkani Nutrition and author of Safe and Simple Food Allergy Prevention
“In my experience as a pediatric dietitian and mom of three, it’s both comforting and liberating for kids when we can articulate and role model a non-judgmental, neutral approach to food, help them stay grounded in this approach regardless of what goes on around them, and teach them early on that while we may not have control over other people’s behaviors and statements, we do have control over our own. How to best communicate this depends on the child’s developmental stage; for my own kids during their school-age years, I’ve frequently used statements like this: “Different families approach food in different ways, and ‘healthy’ means different things to different people. In our family, we believe that there are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods, that all foods can fit into a balanced diet, and that different foods nourish us in different ways. Some foods give us lots of nutrients, some feed our souls, some provide joy. And some do all three.”
Dani Lebovitz, MS, RDN, food parenting expert and creator of Kid Food Explorers, @kid.food.explorers
“When kids hear confusing or negative things about food, it’s so important to give them simple facts and build their confidence. No matter how old your kiddo is, I always like to start by asking a few questions to understand exactly what happened. This shows them that their feelings matter and that what they experienced is worth talking about. Then, I’d ask what they think or believe about what was said. Acknowledging their feelings and offering reassurance lets them know it’s okay to feel upset or confused. Plus, it helps you tailor your response to what they already know, making the conversation more meaningful and supportive. Next, I’d offer some simple explanations based on their current understanding and share your family’s approach to food. Empowering kids with easy-to-repeat language is key!”
Here are a few things to keep in mind, writes Lebowitz:
- Use simple, concrete explanations about food.
- Reassure your kids that it’s always okay to talk to you when they hear something confusing.
- Help them feel proud of their identity and your family’s food choices.
- Show them how to respect others’ food choices, too.
For more information to help communicate topics, such as the safety of produce in the United States, be sure to checkout the Dietitian Hub for downloadable resources and the Pesticide Residue Calculator.
Author Bio:
Elizabeth (Liz) is a nationally known nutrition expert, four-time cookbook author, freelance writer, and early nutrition pioneer in the field of fertility nutrition. Commonly known as “Shaw Simple Swaps”, she is the president and owner of the USA-based nutrition communications and consulting firm. She has been in the field of nutrition for over 18 years, has served as an adjunct professor, food safety director in the collegiate setting, and nutrition advisor to commodity boards and health brands with appearances on national and local television. She currently sits as a non-voting member on the Board for the Alliance for Food and Farming, too. She breaks down the latest nutrition science into easy to digest facts in her freelance writing and global communications work with popular outlets such as EatingWell, EatThis, Parents, Today.com, Yahoo, US Health and News Report, and others.
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